LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Yes, love yourself first. Most of us have the habit of comparing ourselves and find defects like I am shorter than someone, or I am too tall like a bamboo, I am not beautiful or handsome as someone, I am not educated, I am not rich, my wife is not beautiful, my children could not succeed in life, my house is small, my husband does not have good job, I have no good car etc. There are innumerable things we complain all the time like 24/7. We focus our attention mostly on the negative aspects of our life and remain unhappy. We rarely sit silently and realize what we have and how the god has blessed us in so many things. 70% of the unhappiness is the result of our attitude of looking things negatively.
We never see many good things around us every day like how lucky I am as I am healthy and able to work and earn to take care of my children, how lucky I am that I have nice children, grandchildren, parents, beautiful wife or a gentle husband, good brothers and sisters or friends. I am lucky that I am able to get education, got the opportunity to travel abroad often, how lucky I am that my son or daughter is well educated and married with nice children. How lucky I am to have good neighbors who often drop in my house and ask how I am doing or do I need any kind of help from them. There are innumerable things we can count every day to feel lucky. But it is not happening. We see the cloud only in the sky but miss the opportunity to see beautiful silver lining often. So, love yourself before you love others.
If you are not able to love yourself properly you cannot love others. So, we have to start loving ourselves and thank god for keeping us alive another day with the opportunity to see this beautiful world. Feel the beauty of nature like beautiful flowers, green forest, rice fields, rainy or sunny day and it helps you to change your attitude to love yourself. You need to practice self-love by deciding yourself to remain happy as far as possible every day, decide yourself that happiness is nothing but your own decision to be happy or unhappy in any given period of time or you can develop self-love by writing and reading nice love and positive stories, or writing beautiful letter with sweet words to your loved ones including your parents, children, girlfriends or spouse and friends. Stop to curse yourself because something did happen or did not happen because of you. Nothing happens because of you but everything happens for a cause and in many cases these are pre-designed. If you happen to see the movie called “Final Destination” you will see how things happen as pre-designed.
So we should stop blaming ourselves whatever happens around us. If we are not happy with some of our attributes, we should try to change it but not blame ourselves or the others. If you do something bad accidentally it is better to forgive yourself instead of wasting time repenting over it. It is often said better to learn by mistakes than not attempting at all.
Dalai Lama says “If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.”
Similarly, Louse Hay says “When people start to love themselves more each day, it is amazing how their lives get better. They get the job they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve or the negative one dissolve and new one begin.”
Excerpt from the writer’s book “CLOUDS HAVE SILVER LINING TOO”
Note: This book is available from Nepalese Community of Hampton Road – NCHR (donation to NCHR) or from the writer himself.
Price of Book: $10